The Writer
by Faith Bow
Summary: ONE SHOT: "You wait for a silence, I wait for a word Lying next to your frame Girl unobserved. You change your position And you're changing me Casting these shadows Where they shouldn't be"


_A/N: This one shot is inspired by the lyrics to Ellie Goulding- The Writer._

_I do not own Twilight or the lyrics._

_It's really bittersweet, And kind of dark. Some mention of self-harm. Please enjoy Review at the end!_

* * *

_**You wait for a silence**_

_**I wait for a word**_

I awoke the sun has yet to rise. I could tell he wasn't sleeping so I left him be. I turned around on my left side back facing him. The clock read _5:30 a.m._

We weren't always like this. His father changed _him_. We would be perfect if Edward didn't live to please his father. I looked at the picture on the night stand we were smiling I was in a lacy party dress that my friend Alice forced me into. I remember that night. I was so nervous going to his father's business party. I never did like lawyers I guess it had to do with my parents divorce. My mom got a dirty lawyer that ripped me away from my father when I was 13.

I've searched for him but I haven't found him.

Everyone was drinking fancy wine and eating crab appetizers. I hated the silence those parties brought on. It reminded me of when I had depression really bad. But Edward... He lived for silence. He never liked those parties. And now he hosts them.

_**Lying next to your frame**_  
_** Girl unobserved**_  
_** You change your position**_  
_** And you're changing me,**_  
_**Casting these shadows**_  
_** Where they shouldn't be.**_

I rolled over and snuggled into his side. He didn't move. I looked up to see his eyes open he was staring at the celling arms behind his head. I can't remember the last time he looked at me with a smile that met his eyes. His eyes were dull. Edward wanted to be a writer. He finished his novel when we got out of college. He was going to get it published but then his father came_ back_ into the picture.

Edward rolled over on his right side his back facing me.

Edward found ways to swiftly push me away these days. The sun was starting to light up the room. And I knew Edward was silently crying. His father never liked me. Always tried to convince Edward to leave me. He _almost_ did. He would disappear for weeks on _"business trips"_ with his dad. But he finally stopped. His father was a_ psychotic_ man. He stopped at nothing to get what he wanted. Including screwing his son up. I could feel my depression more now then ever.

**_We're interrupted_**  
**_ By the heat of the sun_**  
**_Trying to prevent_**  
**_ What's already begun_**  
**_ Oh, you're just a body_**  
**_ I can smell your skin_**  
**_ And when we feel it_**  
**_ You're wearing thin,_**  
**_Oh, but I've got a plan._**

The alarm went off. Edward reached over me and turned it off he got up and disappeared into the bathroom. I heard the shower kick on. I sat up eyeing my engagement ring that has been on my hand for 6 months. I put my hands down and it fell off into the floor. I picked it up and I held it in my hands and then I stood up and walked to my dresser and dropped it off in the top drawer. Where I also kept Edward's novel. I've read it so much I have it memorized.

I walked into the kitchen and started to fix scrambled eggs. It took everything I had not to burn my arm with the hot pan. That's how me and Edward met. At the hospital. He was working with his Uncle Carlisle. He was a amazing man. Well he wasn't _really_ working he was seventeen getting extra credits. I was seventeen also.

I tried to kill myself with my step dads mussel relaxers. And I was brought to the hospital. When I awoke the nurses made sure to get the kind Dr. Cullen on me.

I never knew how much that me trying to kill myself saved me. Edward and Uncle Carlisle came in and I fell in love. A tear fell down my face as I thought of it. I took a deep breath. I let out 3 small sobs and then got myself together. I put Edward's eggs on his plate. I dropped the pan in the sink. I cooked for Edward because if I didn't he probably wouldn't eat. He only ate because he was sweet and didn't want to hurt my feelings. Esme taught him well.

I turned around to go tell Edward breakfast was ready. Then I saw him leaning in the archway of the kitchen. My hand flew to my throat.

How long had he been there?

He looked grim. His eyes looked like a burning man at the stake. He looked his worst. What could've caused this?

"Breakfast is ready" I told him trying to calm my heart.

"Thank you" Edward said.

He walked around me and got his plate and got a fork out of the drawer. I got two glasses out and pour us some orange juice. I walked over to him and sat the orange juice beside him. I was close enough to intake his smell. He didn't wear old spice or anything in fact. _Well_ because I preferred the wonderful smell of him.

"You're not eating?" Edward asked.

"I'm not hungry" I told him not looking at him. I haven't been able to eat for a month now.

Edward sat his plate down on the counter half ate. He crossed his arms I looked up at him he seemed to be studying me. But not in away to make me worry. I raised one eyebrow.

"Where's your ring?" He asked.

"I had to take it off. It keeps falling off and I don't want to lose your grandmothers ring" I told him honestly.

"Don't forget about the party tonight" Edward told me off subject. I gritted my teeth.

"Edward, Maybe we should _cancel_. You don't seem well" I told Edward. He looked away.

"No I'm fine, Let's just not have it for a long period of time" Edward suggested. My fingernails dug into my palms.

"Shouldn't you be getting to work?" I snapped. He turned to look at me, he looked at as if I slapped him.

"Yeah, I should. I love you" Edward told me and kissed my forehead then left.

I counted to ten and I screamed. I grabbed the plate with eggs still on it and chucked it at the wall causing it to shatter. I pulled a pen and piece of paper out. me and Edward would have me write what I thought since I had anxiety talking to people.

**_And why don't you be the artist?_**  
**_ And make me out of clay?_**  
**_ Why don't you be the writer?_**  
**_ And decide the words I say?_**  
**_ 'Cause I'd rather pretend_**  
**_ I'll still be there at the end_**  
**_ Only it's too hard to ask_**  
**_ Won't you try to help me?_**

I looked at the scribbles. I glared at it. I couldn't do this. I opened the drawer and pulled out a small kitchen knife. And I gave myself _8_ cuts, ignoring the blood. I sat in the kitchen floor. I opened my cabinet and pulled out a dish towel. I stood up and got it wet and laid it on my arm. I welcomed the pain. I grabbed the paper and crumbled it tossing it into the trash. I grabbed the broom and started to sweep up the broken dishes.

_**Sat on your sofa**_  
_** It's all broken springs**_  
_** This isn't the place for**_  
_** Those violin strings**_

I sat on _our_ red couch as the ignorant rich people mingled around my house. I avoided Edward's father (Who's name was also Edward so I always refured to him as 'Edward's father'). Edward was getting worse as the hours ticked by. If you didn't know him he would look happy. But I could see behind Edward's act. I wore a long sleeved black dress that was basically a long sweater. Then I saw him. My beautiful fiancé. He was talking and the men around him laughed.

**_Oh, I try out a smile_**  
**_ And I aim it at you_**  
**_ Oh, you must have missed it_**  
**_ You always do_**

Edward looked over at me. I gave him a real smile hoping to cheer him up. But he acted as if he didn't see it. I got up and I heard one of the spring protest. One day the springs would break. I looked around I felt sick. The women were gathered gossiping about other women. The men gathered around Edward or flirting with the younger girls. I walked over to Edward's grand piano and sat down on the bench. We haven't touched this in months. See I wrote songs and sold them to record companies.

I took a deep breath and just played with whatever my fingers wanted. Then I realized they went perfectly with what I wrote earlier. I whispered the new found lyrics.

**_And why don't you be the artist?_**  
**_ And make me out of clay?_**  
**_Oh, why don't you be the writer?_**  
**_ And decide the words I say?_**  
**_'Cause I'd rather pretend_**  
**_ I'll still be there at the end_**  
**_ Only it's too hard to ask_**  
**_ Won't you try to help me?_**

I played another song then I stopped. I took a deep breath a turned around. People were still mingling. Then I spotted my green eyed angel. He had color to his face and I _saw_ it. I saw the _old_ Edward. My heart rate picked up. I can't wait until the people leave. Wait..

Screw them this is my place. I stood up and made my way to Edward who stood as a flower on the wall.

"That was unexpected" Edward told me when I reached him.

I pursed my lips.

"It just came to me" I told him. He smiled slightly not reaching his eyes.

We stared at each other waiting for one of us to speak.

"Edward my son!" A voice said behind me giving me cold chills.

I would've thrown up if I had something in my stomach.

"Father" Edward greeted him. I turned and looked around and looked at the monster in front of me.

"Me and Marcus were going to go look at a case at his firm, I told him you would love to come" His father said.

I wanted to punch him. His father winked at me. He knew what he was doing!

**_You wait_**  
**_ I wait_**  
**_ Casting shadows_**  
**_ Interrupted_**

Edward took a step forward and looked at me. I think he wanted me to try and stop him. I begged him with my eyes to stay. Then they started to walk away.

"WAIT!" I yelled although it was barely over a whisper. Edward and the devil himself turned around.

"You can't l-leave" I stuttered my anxiety flaring up. His father cocked a eyebrow at me.

"Why is that?" He asked his voice had a silent threat in it. Like he was daring me to say something. You know what. Dare excepted.

"You know _why_? Because this is your guys party _not_ mine. And I _kindly_ let _you_ use _my_ home. But I will not make sure _your_ guest are having a good time because _I_ didn't invite them nor do _I_ know them. So there for I will not keep up with _your_ party while _you_ guys run off and do whatever you plan on doing. Which I'm pretty sure isn't a case, Now is _it_?" I asked making sure my voice stayed sugary sweet the whole time.

Edward's father looked beyond angry. Edward looked shocked. But then Edward's father winked at me.

"Okay guys! Party is over, thank you all for attending" Edward's father called and people started to leave.

"There we go. Is that better_ Isabella_?" He asked trying to keep his voice nice as possible.

I looked at Edward. Help me. Stand up for me. Do _something_! I screamed inside my head.

"Come on Eddy boy" His father said then clapped him in the back and started to head out the door.

Edward didn't move for a split second. Then he followed his dad out the door. The last people left closing the door behind them. I went into the kitchen and got a trash bag and started to throw away the expensive glasses. After I finished that I walked into the kitchen and pulled out the whiskey Edward's cousin Jasper got from Texas for Edward. I grabbed a glass and poured me a shot. Well maybe a little more then that. I eyed it for a moment.

I didn't drink because that's what that drunk driver did.

When I was 15 I got in a car accident from a drunk driver driving to fast in the wrong lane on a back road the same night me and my step dad Phil were going to go get my mom a mother's day gift. Phil got his leg broke and concussion he woke up with a mild case of amnesia which he recovered from. But I had to learn how to walk again. Which I did in a year. But I lost the privilege to have children.

That's why I was 26 and stuck here while the love of my life was somewhere and I didn't know if he would return. I grabbed the glass and downed it. It burned my throat cause a sharp pain in my head. I started to cough but I swallowed it. I repeated this a few times. Then I got out my phone and called Edward's number going to voice mail but I left him a message.

**_Why don't you be the artist?_**  
**_ And make me out of clay?_**  
**_ Why don't you be the writer?_**  
**_ And decide the words I say?_**  
**_ 'Cause I'd rather pretend_**  
**_ I'll still be there at the end_**  
**_ Only it's too hard to ask_**  
**_ Won't you try to help me?_**

I woke up the next day in my pajamas. I remember chugging water so I didn't have a hangover. But I did feel sick and my head hurt slightly. I rolled over when I saw a note with my engagement ring on it. I picked it up and in Edward's neat writing. Were the way to familiar words.

**_Why don't you be the artist?_**  
**_ And make me out of clay?_**  
**_ Why don't you be the writer?_**  
**_ And decide the words to say?_**  
**_'Cause I'd rather pretend_**  
**_ I'll still be there at the end_**  
**_ Only it's too hard to ask_**  
**_ Won't you try to help me? _**


End file.
